


Things You Said That I Wish You Hadn’t

by twenty_one_jalex



Series: Mini Fic (tumblr prompts) [3]
Category: Panic! at the Disco
Genre: Angst, M/M, Prompt Fic, Tumblr Prompt, honestly i am so god damn sorry for this, shit's sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-30
Updated: 2016-08-30
Packaged: 2018-08-11 22:14:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 500
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7909579
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/twenty_one_jalex/pseuds/twenty_one_jalex





	Things You Said That I Wish You Hadn’t

Rain. It’s the only thing Brendon can hear, the smell of rain present, and he can barely see 10 feet in front of him for how heavy it’s pouring down. Rain is flooding his senses, but not his mind. 

The same scene plays over over as he runs down the pavement, his bare feet hitting the ground, water splashes up against his legs.

-

_Ryan laid back on the beach, grains of sand decorating his wet hair. Pieces of his fringe were stuck to his forehead. He rolled his head towards Brendon and smiled sadly. “I never want this moment to end,” he said in a quiet voice._

_“Don’t let it then,” Brendon replied and glanced at his lips._

_Ryan noticed and leaned over at a painfully slow rate before pressing his mouth against Brendon’s. His eyes widened and he hesitated before returning the kiss. Fireworks._

_After a couple seconds they both pulled back and stared at each other. Ryan opened his mouth to speak, but no sound followed. He sat up slowly and tried to keep his breathing steady. Brendon’s heart and mind was racing as he watched Ryan swallow heavily and stared deadpan at the waves._

_“Brendon,” he trailed off._

-

He stops when he can finally see a lanky silhouette in the distance. Ryan, he thinks, and runs towards him. His shirt is clinging to his body, rain having drenched it the minute he stepped into the downpour. 

“Ryan,” he yells and pushes himself to somehow move faster. His feet are sore, clothes soaked through to his core and weighing heavy. The cold storm is unrelenting, chilling his skin immediately.

The figure turns to him as he draws closer. Brendon slows down and stops a few feet from him. Ryan stares at the ground for a moment, the two standing with nothing but the pelting rain to fill the silence.

“I’m sorry,” Brendon whimpers and reaches towards him but stops himself. “I’m fucking sorry and I don’t know what else to say. I love y-.”

“Don’t,” Ryan cuts him off and shuts his eyes, his tears mixing with the wet rain, invisible to anyone but himself. “I don’t want you to say anything else. I can’t love you.”

“Please.” His voice is barely a whisper; he’s not even sure if he heard the single word fall from his lips, never mind if Ryan heard it.

“I wish you never told me you loved me,” Ryan admits. He won’t even look back at Brendon, his head hanging, wet curls flopping over his eyes and shielding them from Brendon’s penetrating gaze. They remain still for what feels like an eternity.

Then Ryan turns and leaves him in the rain without a word. He watches the love of his life walk away.

Silence. Now that’s all Brendon can hear. No deafening rain fall, his skin feels numb against the cold climate. The remnants of the kiss they shared quickly break apart in his mind and he finds himself feeling nothing at all.


End file.
